Ever notice how everyone seems to have an opinion or idea about what you’re doing or what they think you should do – especially when you’re experiencing a challenge? That’s a lot of pressure. Even when your friend, mom, therapist, coach, or doctor has the best intentions in mind. Problem is, as they say, “you can be sincere, and be sincerely wrong.” And sometimes good advice is good advice, but it’s not the best advice for you.
Imagine you’re making a pot of stew, and when you taste it – it’s bad. I’m no chef, but even I can think of a number of ways to fix a pot of stew. Add in a number of different herbs or spices. Add some cream, or some chopped tomato. Maybe the stew needs some lime juice or vegetable stock… or it needs time for the flavors to meld together. I could keep going with this…
Now what if your spouse says, “I know how to fix it,” and rattles off a list of ingredients to add. So you start adding the ingredients, eye-balling the amounts as you go, the whole time feeling frustrated and angry because now you have to fix the stew and you’re not sure how it will turn out. You put in more energy and time, meanwhile worrying about the outcome, when what you really wanted to do was throw out the stew, order pizza, and relax. So now you’ve got a bad pot of stew, a jerk husband who thinks he knows everything, and you’re sick and tired of doing everything around the house.
On the other hand, imagine you love cooking and want to experiment with creating and improving the stew. If the stew is still bad, you throw it out and barely give it a second or third thought – even if you’re happily imagining what you’d like to try next time. A bad pot of stew is just a bad pot of stew. It doesn’t spiral into ALL the other things that are “wrong” with your life.
There are a number of ways you can solve any given problem or challenge. The question is, what do you want to do? Because when you step into the unknown from a place of alignment with yourself and Spirit, the outcome matters less and growth matters more. And instead of spiraling into stress or despair, you find joy.